Missing the Part

French psychoanalyst Jaques Lacan says we’re all wandering about searching for that perfect time when we were one with our mothers — the time between birth and language when we thought the whole world was us and we were the whole world; when our mother satisfied our every need and we thought we satisfied hers. The realization, tied to the onset of language, that we’re not her and she isn’t us, creates our first major loss and leads to our lifelong search for what Lacan calls object petit a.
I wonder what Lacan would say to those of us whose mothers were removed from us at the start. I wonder what he would say to those of us who lost objet petit a before we discovered her; who skipped the time of being someone’s all and of having someone be our all; who missed the part about being the whole world and the whole world being us.


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